8 Tips to help you through a miscarriage

You are going through a lot and you will need help. Please get it anywhere you can.

After you find out you are miscarrying: It will help to stock up on thick pads and pain reliever as soon as you find out. Tampons can create an infection to your open cervix. The pain you will experience will feel anywhere from heavy period cramping up to labor type cramping. I found that sitting under the hot water in the shower helped somewhat with the pain. Heating pads will help as well. At night put a towel underneath you while you sleep. Wear comfy and loose sweats that can be thrown away if needed.

Cancel everything and stay home from work: You are not expected to be tough through this loss. It is physically and emotionally going to be messy and very hard. You won't want to be out in public when you are dealing with the cramping and bleeding. Rest at home.

Do not blame yourself: For awhile I did this. I have PCOS and Endometriosis and I blamed my own body for letting me down. Do not let your partner blame you either. There are no standard stages of grief and you will most likely at some point feel shock, denial and sadness. It will come in waves that you can't control. Your hormones and body have been through a lot and are still experiencing changes.

Take care of yourself: As much as you can, keep taking care of your body physically and mentally. Get a lot of sleep and rest because this will help you be able to recover faster. Take your vitamins and eat what you can stomach. Your body is going through a lot throughout this process and will need nutrition and rest to continue functioning. 

Lean on you partner: Whether or not they fully understand or can emotionally relate to what has happened, lean on them. They will most likely need to be your rock throughout this emotional time. Sometimes they may not say what you want to hear or know exactly how to help, even just a big hug and cuddle can help you feel a little better.
But make sure you also ask them how they are feeling. Everyone will be affected differently and they may be feeling a lot of grief as well. Be there for each other during this time. 
Divorce rates increase 22% in couples who have miscarried...Do not let this be you guys! You can get through it and better times will come in the future. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel. 

PPD: Postpartum Depression is real and can occur at any stages of loss after pregnancy because of the flux in hormones you are having. Prepare for emotional triggers that may make the loss worse (such as others pregnancy announcements, seeing pregnant women, etc.). If you are overwhelmed with grief and cannot function on a day to day basis, seek help from a therapist or your OB. 

You can try again: There is no evidence that suggests that an increased risk of miscarriage will occur if you try sooner rather than later in trying to get pregnant again.  If you are ready, you can try again with your partner as soon as you get your next period. Make sure you are emotionally ready as well as getting the green light from your OB.

Tell people: If, or when you are ready because talking about it may help you through the grieving process. I am just now writing about my own loss to the public world. Only my immediate family knew what was going on at the time I had my miscarriage. 
You can talk about it though. It may be hard for others to address the situation because they don't know how to handle it. They oftentimes may say the wrong thing, but know that they are trying to help you but may not be able to find the right words. Find people that have been through what you are going through to talk to (even if it is just an online message board). Talking or reading about what you are going through will help you.

You will get better.

You will want to try again.

Do not give up, you are strong.

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